Posted by: lactosuria | September 13, 2010

When All Is Lost..

What do you do when you lose everything? What happens when you take one wrong step & action that makes your life miserable? What would you think when your dad was right & that all he said would happen does happen?

I’ll tell you what happens.. you stay at home throughout the whole afternoon & evening. You lose your appetite and you start listening to sad songs till you’re depressed enough to think about suicide & death..

It all happened one Saturday.. Saturday 4th of September 2010 to be precise.. It’s 8:15 and I just finished watching Monk, I get a call from my best friend and he says

“When are you coming?”

I reply “I’m getting ready now & leaving”

But my mum says.. “you don’t leave, makeup an excuse, coz I’m not letting you go out.. If you do I’ll rip your legs off”

I tell my mum that I promised them and that I swore I’d be there.. but she still refuses. I dress up all emo-like coz I thought bout trying out being emo and if it would suit me, I comb my hair all the way down and it covers my forehead and is just above my eyebrows. I dress up in black, black jeans, t-shirt & black shoes. I go upstairs nad wait for my dad, my mum stares at me.. then turns away. My dad comes home & we set out.. I reach 360 and call ma friend then headed off to “Let’s Burger”. I’m there and 2 of my friends are already there, Joey & Karamel. I sit down, we chat a bit then Karamel starts dishing out crap bout the way I dressed up. Joey joins in but I don’t mind @ all, then Karamel goes on about my hair and how I’m trying to copy his hair coz I combed it down and all.. I told him I’m emo for the day and he’s like “yeah yeah” then we switch tables and Kamila is here with a friend that only Kamila & Karamel know. We chit & chat till it was 10:30 pm. My sister calls and wants me to take em Ice-Skating.. my friends say “stay” “don’t leave” Saturday is our day” and so I stay.. Me and Joey head off to the arcade & play some car racing, then some shooting. We head back and set off to Fridayz and enjoy a meal and talk some more.

The nights almost over and we’re all happy, nearly high and over the top. We all head home and my mum refuses talking to me.. I just head downstairs and head to bed..

2 dayz later, on Twitter chatting to Karamel, everything’s cool & fine.. were chatting as we normally do then n I get called “pussyboi”, I let it slide by coz it was a joke.. then Joey joins in & they both chat and keep calling me “pussyboi” and “shutup dumb pussyboi”.. I keep saying to myself its a joke..

I wake up the next day and its still the same thing all over again on Twitter. I start answering them back, then tell Karamel why theyre doing this.. answer? “stop being so dramatic pussyboi”

I text Karamel one-on-one and ask why theyre doing this and the answer i get is “dumb pussyboi” I say that im not gonna talk to him if he keeps this up and I get “dont be so dramatic pussyboi”

I stop talking to Karamel.. Next day, I tweet “Morning Twitter” and then Karamel tweets “Morning twitter-hearts” or something like that, but I dont reply then he says “what so you’re ignoring me on twitter now? sad.”

After that Joey stopped talking to me.. Geez I wonder why.. What makes me really mad is that Karamel knows whats going on in my life.. exactly whats happening and he knows what im going through..

What the hell did I do to deserve this fuck?!!

Now after all that happened, what did I get out of that outing?

Found out I had dickheaded friendz and a mum that still refuses talking to me..

But i’m not sad.. or even depressed, I found out that family is a thousand times better than friendz.. My cozins took me in and were longing to go out with me since forever but I kept saying “no, im going out with ma friends”

Now I lost my mum on the expense of going out with a bunch of dickheads but in exchange.. now I can go out anywhere I want and do whatever I want whenever I want coz my mum duznt talk to me. I know I should hate them for this, but I wont..

Instead I learned not to get too attached to ppl I meet, not trust everyone and most of all I learned how to say NO!!!

Should you ignore your parents? NO!

Should you ever go against you parents? NO!!

Should you ever grieve over your your friendz? HELL NO!!!

“Be careful when handling your enemy, but be a thousand “1000” times more careful when handling your friends coz they just might turn against you and know exactly how to hurt you”

One of the typical responses I might get if my so-called friends were to comment:

“Boohoo stop grieving over your life, get over it”

“its your fault and not ours”

“leeeeeeeeeek dat litul poooooooosyy pussyboi”

“no one likes a copycat stop spreading ur poison”

Or anything that might refer to the fact that all this is my fault 🙂 yeah I know em inside out and like the palm of ma hand.




  1. دش اب طيزي يا قحاب اشرها على عطاكم وجه يالشواذ

  2. انت من صجك تزعل على هالاشكال والله لو انا منك ابعبص اب ويهماهما مايسون ظفر منك

  3. او هذا كارمل شايف نفسه ليش اكصا خنيث

  4. hii 7sain. I know exactly how u feel because Nasser is so fucking annoying 50% of the time. I slept over at his house today and he reminded me why we aren’t best friends anymore. He is not trustworthy as i promise u he will tell everyone ur secret and get pissed off when u tell people his secret. Hypocrite. He is also sensitive about his own feelings but never about others he’ll call u whatever he wants and do whatever he wants to u, but do the same thing back and you’ll be the bad person in his eyes.

    Carry on ur life 7sain u don’t need nasser in ur life fuck him :S it’s been 7 years of friendship between me and him so i can’t just leave him but trust me ur better off without him. He’ll just make u happy for a few days then make u feel like shit someday and expect u to say sorry for HIS mistakes.

    ur a good friend 7sain and also a good ice skating shoe tie-er lol.

    xx, Kamila.

    • i know love 😛 but what can I do? i love him as much as I love you 😛 😀 he rarely did get on my nerve but i guess its what friends “do” whatever that is 😛 n fur skating 😉 ill tie ur skates anyday sugar 😛 ur da good friend 🙂


  5. Dude that sucks… I was wondering where you were. Hope your ok and work things out with your family and friends.
    Ps… Lose the emo-ness…where’s the fun in being depressed by music?! Surfer is cooler :p

    • i gotta say emo was so not my type at all XD i was a happy emo coz i kept LOL-ing >.< and ya i ditched that crap and working on ma family and friends 😀


      • Good job!

  6. Shit I just wrote a huge comment but I lost it .. fucking iPhone

    I’ll summarise:

    – pussyboiii on twitter was a joke .. we’ve all joked around .. hathi mo awal mara .. I don’t want to list ur jokes

    – I never contacted anyone during summer .. Nasser called if we were going out and he called u/Hussein

    – I don’t reply to all the tweets in my timeline .. if u only follow 10 people I follow over 100

    – i didn’t go on msn since forever .. eid, zwarat, looking for unis etc. I wasn’t on the PC a lot .. even my blog is deserted since Thursday

    – The above might explain why u have nit heard from me

    – what u said is all right .. never commit ur self to a certain person whoeer he is .. listen were all leaving in 3 months or even less .. u have ur future infront if u .. I’m tired of nagging u .. u have a year to change things .. yes u might even get good marks and go do medicine in Liverpool .. if u want to u can do!

    – calling me a dickhead was rude .. Why call me that? Cause I told u wearing a scarf mid august is tacky? Or cause untold u ur hair looks better when it’s up .. emo is not ur thing

    – don’t fuck around and say I wanted to suicide and I’m depressed .. That’s u being dramatic .. Don’t be fucking depressed .. if u wanna stop going out with us so be it .. U will be missed but the fact is were all gonna leave soon so why?

    – Nasser never told me what’s happening in ur life .. he told me about the messages and I said he’s just being moody like always

    – yes that’s my summary if u don’t like it stop reading ;p

    Best of luck 🙂

    • im not gonna suicide.. i said thats what WOULD happen to someone other than me.. ta7sibni ana mithil 3ayri? la ya roo7i ana kilish ‘3ayr o mako mithli 😛 im not even mad at y’all.. now im mad at the sick bastard blowing his cigarette and smoke all over me XD jokes dont last for more than 2 dayz hun 🙂


  7. fuck caramel he sucl he is soo sooo gay

  8. and

  9. ok im very hungry

    • thnx for da opinion.. waz very.. nice XD thnx for sharing


  10. And if you ever get sad or mad again, just ask and i’ll tell you about school… That’s got to make you lol… It makes me wanna cry though… I’m thinking of askig for proof they are real teachers…

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